Can Grief be Legislated?

(3) One does not recite the Shema; nor does one pass before the ark; nor do the Kohnaim lift their hands; nor is the Torah read; nor does one conclude with the Prophets [haftara]. And they do not stand up and sit down at a funeral service; nor do they recite the mourners’ blessing or comfort mourners ; or the bridegrooms’ blessing; and invite others to recite Grace after Meals with the name of God, with fewer than ten present...

The Sages taught: all those mentioned in the the passage of Kohanim, for which a Kohen becomes impure, a mourner must mourn for them. And they are: His wife, his father, and his mother, his brother and his sister, his son, and his daughter...

(1) יהוה said to Moses: Speak to the priests, the sons of Aaron, and say to them: None shall defile himself for any [dead] person among his kin,

(2) except for the relatives that are closest to him: his mother, his father, his son, his daughter, and his brother;

(3) also for a virgin sister, close to him because she has not become someone’s [wife], for her he may defile himself...

(5) They shall not shave smooth any part of their heads,

or cut the side-growth of their beards,

or make gashes in their flesh.

(1) It is a positive commandment to mourn for one's close relatives, as implied by Leviticus 10:20:

"Were I to partake of a sin offering today, would it find favor in God's eyes?"

According to Scriptural Law, the obligation to mourn is only on the first day which is the day of the person's death and burial.

The remainder of the seven days of mourning are not required by Scriptural Law.

Although the Torah states in Genesis 50:10: "And he instituted mourning for his father for seven days,"

when the Torah was given, the laws were renewed.
And Moses our teacher ordained for the Jewish people the seven days of mourning and the seven days of wedding celebrations.

(6) We do not mourn for stillborn infants. Whenever a human offspring does not live for 30 days, he is considered as stillborn. Even if he died on the thirtieth day, we do not mourn for him.

(7) If we know for certain that he was born after a full nine months of pregnancy, we mourn for him even if he died on the day of his birth.

(11) When a person commits suicide, we do not engage in activity on their behalf at all. We do not mourn for him or eulogize him. We do, however, stand in a line to comfort the relatives, recite the blessing for the mourners and perform any act that shows respect for the living.

What is meant by a person who commits suicide?

Not necessarily one who climbs up on a roof, falls, and dies, but rather, one who says: "I am going up to the top of the roof." If we see him climb up immediately in anger or know that he was distressed and see him fall and die, we presume such a person is one who committed suicide...

(1) LAWS OF RENDING GARMENTS

One who lost one of his near-of-kinfor whom he is required to observe mourning rites, must rend for him. One must rend while standing, and if one rent while sitting, he has not fulfilled his duty.

(5) One who is present at the time of the departure of the soul of a Jewish man is dutibound to rend;

and even if at times [the person who died], committed a sin because of an irresistible desire, or [would] forsake the performance of a religious duty on account of effort involved.

Some say that you mourn for a converted Jew who was killed by a gentile,

As well for one who was converted as a minor by his parent,

and some say that you do not mourn and this is the main custom

(15) For all other dead, one bastes the rent together, — this means to sew with irregular stitches — after seven days, and resews the edges after thirty days,

for one's father or mother, one bastes the rent together after thirty days and never resews the edges;