Ledor Vador Josh Nelson song (2007)
We are gifts and we are blessings, we are history in song
We are hope and we are healing, we are learning to be strong
We are words and we are stories, we are pictures of the past
We are carriers of wisdom, not the first and not the last
CHORUS:
Ledor vador nagid godlecha
[From generation to generation, we will tell of Your greatness]
Ledor vador... we protect this chain
From generation to generation
Ledor vador, these lips will praise Your name
Looking back on the journey that we carry in our heart
From the shadow of the mountain to the waters that would part
We are blessed and we are holy, we are children of Your way
And the words that bring us meaning, we will have the strength to say
החמישית היא מצוה פרטיית, והיא לפרות ולרבות, והיא מהמצות שמחוייב האדם לרדוף לקיימה, וגם יש יכולת בידו לקיימה, וזו היא חמורה מכל המצות, והוא, כי מי שמת בלא בנים ולא קיים אותה לא די במה שיתגלגל, אלא ששאר המתגלגלים על ידו על חסרון איזה מצוה כנז"ל, הנה כל גוף וגוף מהם יקום ויחיה בזמן התחיה, ויכנס בו נצוצות נשמתו כפי שיעור המצות שקיים בהיותו באותו גוף.
The fifth category [of mitzvot with karmic implications] is one particular mitzvah, the mitzvah of procreation.
It is a mitzvah that a person is obligated to run after it to fulfill it... This one is the most important beyond all the other mitzvot [because] reincarnation does not satisfy the deficiency of someone who dies without children, and he did not fulfill it [the mitzvah].
Healing Intergenerational Wounds: An Integrative Relational–Neurobiological Approach by Mona Fishbane
Intergenerational theory posits that we are links in a multigenerational chain (Fishbane, 2005). We inherit legacies from parents and grandparents and pass on legacies to our children. Some legacies we consciously choose to transmit: religious rites, bedtime rituals, cherished values. Other legacies may be unconscious or insidious. A man becomes enraged with his child like his father did with him; a woman is hypersensitive to feeling criticized by her teenage daughter, a legacy from this woman’s relationship with her own critical mother. Thus, destructive legacies from one’s own past or “legacy burdens” from prior generations (Schwartz & Sweezy, 2019) are unwittingly enacted in current relationships and passed onto the next generation.
Prayer by Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, The Gentle Weapon
Dear God, teach me to embody those ideals I would want my children to learn
from me. Let me communicate with my children wisely—in ways that will draw
their hearts to kindness, to decency, and to true wisdom. Dear God, let me
pass on to my children only the good; let them find in me the values and the
behavior I hope to see in them.
Writing an Ethical Will
An ethical will is a letter that parents write to their children. In it, a parent describes what he/she has learned in life and wants to pass on to his/her children. Biblical leaders from Jacob to Moses passed on end-of-life messages to their children. In medieval times, the Jewish practice of writing ethical wills became more common. Today, the tradition of writing ethical wills is being renewed. Some ethical wills are lengthy while others are only a few sentences long. An ethical will becomes part of a family's inheritance and it is a way to “give a piece of yourself” likely more valuable than your material possessions.
Writing an ethical may help parents clarify their values and become more mindful parents.
We invite you to consider writing your own ethical will. What are your hopes and dreams for your child? How would you like them to live their lives? What would you like their Jewish life course to be? Jot down a few notes below to begin.