פרקי אבות א:י"ד

He said, "If I myself will not be the one that arouses my soul to virtue, who will arouse me, as I have no one to stimulate me from outside," like we have elucidated in the second chapter (Eight Chapters 2). "And since it is in my power to incline my soul to any side that I want, what deed have I done from the good deeds." It is as if he is [questioning] himself and saying, "What am I?" [This is] to say, "What is [becoming of] me? I am not complete, even if I did this matter." And afterwards he went back and said, "If I do not acquire these traits now in the days of my youth, when will I acquire them? Not in the days of old age, as it is difficult to veer from [one's] characteristics at that time because the acquisitions and the traits have hardened and settled - whether they are virtues or whether they are vices." And the wise one said (Proverbs 22:6), "Educate a youth according to his way, and he will also not veer from it when he gets old."

God has, moreover, expressly stated through Isaiah that He punishes some transgressors by making it impossible for them to repent, which He does by the suspension of their free will. Thus, He says, (Isaiah 6:10) "Obdurate will remain the heart of this people and their ears will be heavy and their eyes will be shut, lest . . . they be converted and healing be granted them". The meaning of these words is so plain and obvious that they need no explanation. They are, however, a key to many unopened locks. Upon this principle also are based the words of Elijah (peace be unto him!) who, when speaking of the unbelievers of his time, said of them, (I Kings 18:37) "Thou hast turned their hearts back", which means that, as they have sinned of their own accord, their punishment from Thee is that Thou hast turned their hearts away from repentance, by not permitting them to exercise free will, and thus have a desire to forsake that sin, in consequence of which they persevere in their unbelief. So it is said, (Hosea 4:17) "Ephraim is bound to idols; let him alone", which means that since Ephraim has attached himself to idols of his own free will, and has become enamoured of them, his punishment consists in his being abandoned to his indulgence in them. This is the interpretation of the words "Let him alone". To one who understands subtle ideas, this explanation will appeal as being excellent. Very different, however, is the meaning of what Isaiah said, (Isaiah 63:17) "Why hast thou let us go astray, oh Lord, from Thy ways, and suffered our hearts to be hardened against Thy fear?" These words have no bearing upon the foregoing exposition. Their meaning is to be gathered from the context in which they occur. The prophet, bewailing the captivity, our residence among strangers, the cessation of our kingdom, and the sovereignty of the nations over us, says by way of prayer, "O God, if Israel continues to see this state of affairs in which the unbelievers wield the power, they will go astray from the path of truth, and their heart will incline away from Thy fear, as if Thou wast the cause of making those ignorant ones originally depart from the path of truth, as our teacher Moses said, (Numbers 14:15-16) 'Then will the nations which have heard Thy fame say in this manner that because the Lord was not able'," etc. For this reason, Isaiah said after that, (Isaiah 63:17) "Return for the sake of Thy servants the tribes of Thy heritage", so that there should not be a blasphemy of God's name (by the heathens). Likewise, in the "minor prophets", there is found the opinion of those who, following the truth, were nevertheless conquered by the nations at the time of the exile, which passage, quoting their own words, reads, (Malachi 2:17) "Every one that doth evil is good in the eyes of the Lord, and in them he findeth delight, or else, where is the God of justice?" The prophet, quoting their own words which were occasioned by the length of the exile, continues, (Malachi 3:14-15) "Ye have said, It is vain to serve God; and what profit is it that we have kept His charge, and that we have walked contritely before the Lord of Hosts? And now we call the presumptuous happy; yea, built are they that practise wickedness" , etc. Then, however, explicitly stating that God, in the future, will reveal the truth, he says, (Malachi 3:18) "And ye shall return, and see the difference between the righteous and the wicked". These are the ambiguous passages in the Law and Scripture from which it might appear that God compels man to commit transgressions. We have, however, undoubtedly explained the meaning of these verses, and if one examines it very closely, he will find it a truthful explanation. We, therefore, hold to our original contention, namely, that obedience or transgression of the Law depends entirely upon man's free will; that he is the master of his own actions; that what he chooses not to do he leaves undone, although God may punish him for a sin which he has committed by depriving him of his free will, as we have made clear; furthermore, that the acquisition of virtues and vices is entirely in the power of man, in consequence of which it is his duty to strive to acquire virtues, which he alone can acquire for himself, as the Rabbis in their ethical sayings in this very tractate say, (Pirkei Avot 1:14) "If I am not for myself who will be for me?"

He [Hillel] used to say: If I am not for me, who will be for me? If I don't rebuke myself to be assiduous about the commandments, who is there to rebuke me and make me assiduous? Since the prompting of others is [only] good on a temporary basis. But when the person motivates himself each and every day, he increases to think of thoughts in order to do the work of God. And there is no forgetting before him, when his heart desires [it], and it is a straight path in front of a person.

But if he is not watchful over himself, the Holy One, blessed be He, will certainly not watch over him. For if he gives no heed to himself, who should give heed to him? This is as our Sages of blessed memory have said: "it is forbidden to pity anyone who has no knowledge" (Berachot 33a), and this is the meaning of what they said: "if I am not for myself, who will be for me?" (Avot 1:14).

And when I am for myself alone, what am I? I still cannot reach one thousandth of what I am obligated to do. And they made a parable [about this]: To what is the thing similar? To a king that gave his field to his servants and agreed with them [that his portion would be] thirty kor. They toiled and they brought him five kor. The king said to them, "But didn't I agree with you that it be thirty kor?" They said to him, "Our master, the king, the field that you gave us was of low quality. We toiled greatly on it and we were not able to get out from it more than five kor." So did they say in front of the Holy One, blessed be He, "It is the evil impulse that you have given us from our youth, as it is stated (Genesis 8:21), 'the impulse of man’s heart is evil from his youth.' And even when a man toils greatly to do what is straight in the eyes of God, a man only accomplishes a small part of what he is obligated to do." And this is what is stated (Psalms 103:14), "For He knows our impulse; He is mindful that we are dust." Since were it not that He made the evil impulse [powerful] in man - even without his working hard and pursuing the commandments - he would do many of them. [It would be] like in a high quality field - even if they did not toil in the work of his land - something would come out of it. But now that he knows that even if he toils greatly, he will only attain a small amount because of the evil impulse that corrupts his body; [then] all the more so if he does not toil, his soul will remain empty of the commandments, like a poor quality field if one does not toil in it. And if he does not fertilize it and plow it, nothing will come out of it. And about this is it stated (Proverbs 24:30-31), "I passed by the field of a lazy man, by the vineyard of a man lacking sense. It was all overgrown with thorns; its surface was covered with chickweed, and its stone fence lay in ruins." And for this reason he made the motivation of others adjacent to the motivation of himself and said, " If I am not for me, who will be for me," but if I don't toil and motivate myself to pursue the commandments, I will stay devoid of them - since, even "when I am for myself" and toil in them, I only reach a small portion of the many portions and what do I reach (mah ani can mean both "what am I" and what do I) if I don't toil at all?

And if not now, then when? Such that he not say, I will occupy myself with my work today and tomorrow I will turn to and occupy myself with self-improvement. Since maybe he will not turn to [it]. And even if he does turn to [it], that day went, left and he removed it from the work of God. And he will not be able to make it up all the days of his life, since he is obligated to improve himself and to be occupied by the commandment all of the days that he is living upon the [earth], and he does not have the right to avoid this work - not even for a moment. And there is also included in this expression, "If not now," in the days of my youth, "then when?" If I leave it until my old age and hoariness, I will not be able to do it. And about this matter, David, peace be upon him, stated (Psalms 144:12), "For our sons are like saplings, well-tended in their youth." He meant to say that when the sapling is small, a person can grow it to be a straight tree and not be crooked. However after it grows crooked, it is very difficult to fix. And so [too] when a person is still young, it is easy for him to be on a good path and to turn from evil, but when he grows old with his evil, it is difficult in his eyes to leave it, as it is written (Proverbs 22:6), "Teach a lad according to his way; also when he will grow old, he not swerve from it." And it is [also] written (Deuteronomy 20:19), "since a man is a tree of the field." And also because repentance in old age is not full repentance. Since at that time, the impulse is not strong and desire is benign and the soul does not enjoy - and he does not desire - sinful pleasures. And this is the reason for his repentance. And about this matter is it stated (Ecclesiastes 12:1), "And remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before those days of bad come and those years arrive of which you will say, 'I have no desire in them.'"

In prayer, you need to be as if stripped of materiality and not feel your existence in the world at all. This is the teaching (Avot 1:14) "If I am not for myself, who is for me?" meaning, if I arrive at the state where I do not know and do not feel all that 'I am me', or whether I am in this world or not, then I certainly have no fear of foreign thoughts. For what foreign thought could come close to me when I am stripped of this world, and this is 'who is for me', what kind of foreign thought will come to me. But 'when I am for myself,' when I think of myself as something existent in the reality of this world, then I am considered all the more worthless; that is the meaning of 'what am I', what am I worth and what is my devotion worth before God. Then foreign thoughts will confound me, and then I will be as if not in this world, for the purpose of mankind's creation in this world was to serve God, and I cannot serve God on account of these confusing foreign thoughts. In this way, we can also understand the Talmudic statement (Sukkah 53a) "If I am here, everything is here."