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Noach: How NOT to Embarrass

(יא) וַתִּשָּׁחֵ֥ת הָאָ֖רֶץ לִפְנֵ֣י הָֽאֱלֹהִ֑ים וַתִּמָּלֵ֥א הָאָ֖רֶץ חָמָֽס׃

(11) The earth became corrupt before God; the earth was filled with lawlessness.
(א) ותשחת. לְשׁוֹן עֶרְוָה וַעֲ"זָ (סנה' נ"ז) כְּמוֹ פֶּן תַּשְׁחִתוּן (דב' ד'), כִּי הִשְׁחִית כָּל בָּשָׂר וְגוֹ':

(1) ותשחת [THE EARTH] WAS CORRUPT — It means lewdness and idolatry, as (Deuteronomy 4:16) פן תשחיתון “lest ye deal corruptly” (the following words show that this refers to idolatry) and as ‘כי השחית כל בשר וגו “for all flesh had corrupted etc.” (in next verse of this chapter where Rashi states that this has reference to lewdness: meaning even animals consorted with those not of their kind) (Sanhedrin 57a).

(כא) וַיָּ֣רַח יְהוָה֮ אֶת־רֵ֣יחַ הַנִּיחֹחַ֒ וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְהוָ֜ה אֶל־לִבּ֗וֹ לֹֽא־אֹ֠סִף לְקַלֵּ֨ל ע֤וֹד אֶת־הָֽאֲדָמָה֙ בַּעֲב֣וּר הָֽאָדָ֔ם כִּ֠י יֵ֣צֶר לֵ֧ב הָאָדָ֛ם רַ֖ע מִנְּעֻרָ֑יו וְלֹֽא־אֹסִ֥ף ע֛וֹד לְהַכּ֥וֹת אֶת־כָּל־חַ֖י כַּֽאֲשֶׁ֥ר עָשִֽׂיתִי׃

(21) Adonai smelled the pleasing odor, and Adonai said to Gods-self: “Never again will I doom the earth because of man, since the devisings of man’s mind are evil from his youth; nor will I ever again destroy every living being, as I have done.

(יח) וַיִּֽהְי֣וּ בְנֵי־נֹ֗חַ הַיֹּֽצְאִים֙ מִן־הַתֵּבָ֔ה שֵׁ֖ם וְחָ֣ם וָיָ֑פֶת וְחָ֕ם ה֖וּא אֲבִ֥י כְנָֽעַן׃ (יט) שְׁלֹשָׁ֥ה אֵ֖לֶּה בְּנֵי־נֹ֑חַ וּמֵאֵ֖לֶּה נָֽפְצָ֥ה כָל־הָאָֽרֶץ׃ (כ) וַיָּ֥חֶל נֹ֖חַ אִ֣ישׁ הָֽאֲדָמָ֑ה וַיִּטַּ֖ע כָּֽרֶם׃ (כא) וַיֵּ֥שְׁתְּ מִן־הַיַּ֖יִן וַיִּשְׁכָּ֑ר וַיִּתְגַּ֖ל בְּת֥וֹךְ אָהֳלֹֽה׃ (כב) וַיַּ֗רְא חָ֚ם אֲבִ֣י כְנַ֔עַן אֵ֖ת עֶרְוַ֣ת אָבִ֑יו וַיַּגֵּ֥ד לִשְׁנֵֽי־אֶחָ֖יו בַּחֽוּץ׃ (כג) וַיִּקַּח֩ שֵׁ֨ם וָיֶ֜פֶת אֶת־הַשִּׂמְלָ֗ה וַיָּשִׂ֙ימוּ֙ עַל־שְׁכֶ֣ם שְׁנֵיהֶ֔ם וַיֵּֽלְכוּ֙ אֲחֹ֣רַנִּ֔ית וַיְכַסּ֕וּ אֵ֖ת עֶרְוַ֣ת אֲבִיהֶ֑ם וּפְנֵיהֶם֙ אֲחֹ֣רַנִּ֔ית וְעֶרְוַ֥ת אֲבִיהֶ֖ם לֹ֥א רָאֽוּ׃
(18) The sons of Noah who came out of the ark were Shem, Ham, and Japheth—Ham being the father of Canaan. (19) These three were the sons of Noah, and from these the whole world branched out. (20) Noah, the tiller of the soil, was the first to plant a vineyard. (21) He drank of the wine and became drunk, and he uncovered himself within his tent. (22) Ham, the father of Canaan, saw his father’s nakedness and told his two brothers outside. (23) But Shem and Japheth took a cloth, placed it against both their backs and, walking backward, they covered their father’s nakedness; their faces were turned the other way, so that they did not see their father’s nakedness.

How does the experience after the flood relate to God's revelation to Godsself in Gen 8?

ויגד לשני אחיו ויאמר אין כתיב כאן אלא ויגד ללמדך שהגיד להם הטעם על מה סרסו. אמר ר׳‎ יעקב בר זבדי מה טעם עבד כנעני יוצא בשן ועין מהכא וירא ויגד.

ויגד לשני אחיו, “he told his two brothers of this.” Since the Torah did not use the word: vayomer, for Ham telling his brothers, but vayageid, “he elaborated on this,” it is clear that he emphasized that his father had embarrassed himself. According to Rabbi Yaakov bar Zivdi in Bereshit Rabbah 36,5 the reason why a Canaanite slave is released immediately when his owner has ruined a tooth of his or an eye of his (Exodus 21:26), is because the eye is used to see things that should not be seen, and the tooth (mouth) is used to tell what should not be told.

וירא חם אבי כנען. יֵשׁ מֵרַבּוֹתֵינוּ אוֹמְרִים כְּנַעַן רָאָה וְהִגִּיד לְאָבִיו, לְכָךְ הֻזְכַּר עַל הַדָּבָר וְנִתְקַלֵּל (ב"ר):
וירא חם אבי כנען AND HAM THE FATHER OF CANAAN SAW — Some of our Rabbis say that Canaan saw it and told his father about it, and on that account he is mentioned in connection with this matter and was cursed (Genesis Rabbah 36:7).
וירא את ערות אביו. יֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים סֵרְסוֹ וְיֵשׁ אוֹמְרִים רְבָעוֹ (סנה' ע'):

וירא את ערות אביו AND HE SAW HIS FATHER'S NAKEDNESS — Some say that he castrated him and some say that he sodomized him (Sanhedrin 70a).

(כד) וַיִּ֥יקֶץ נֹ֖חַ מִיֵּינ֑וֹ וַיֵּ֕דַע אֵ֛ת אֲשֶׁר־עָ֥שָׂה־ל֖וֹ בְּנ֥וֹ הַקָּטָֽן׃ (כה) וַיֹּ֖אמֶר אָר֣וּר כְּנָ֑עַן עֶ֥בֶד עֲבָדִ֖ים יִֽהְיֶ֥ה לְאֶחָֽיו׃ (כו) וַיֹּ֕אמֶר בָּר֥וּךְ יְהֹוָ֖ה אֱלֹ֣הֵי שֵׁ֑ם וִיהִ֥י כְנַ֖עַן עֶ֥בֶד לָֽמוֹ׃ (כז) יַ֤פְתְּ אֱלֹהִים֙ לְיֶ֔פֶת וְיִשְׁכֹּ֖ן בְּאָֽהֳלֵי־שֵׁ֑ם וִיהִ֥י כְנַ֖עַן עֶ֥בֶד לָֽמוֹ׃

(24) When Noah woke up from his wine and learned what his youngest son had done to him, (25) he said,

“Cursed be Canaan;

The lowest of slaves

Shall he be to his brothers.”

(26) And he said, “Blessed be Adonai,

The God of Shem;

Let Canaan be a slave to them.

(27) May God enlarge Japheth,

And let him dwell in the tents of Shem; And let Canaan be a slave to them.”

(ז) וַיִּקֶּץ נֹחַ מִיֵּינוֹ (בראשית ט, כד), נִתְפָּרֵק יֵינוֹ מֵעָלָיו. וַיֵּדַע אֵת אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה לוֹ בְּנוֹ הַקָּטָן, בְּנוֹ הַפָּסוּל, הֲדָא הוּא דִכְתִיב (מלכים א ח, סד): כִּי מִזְבַּח הַנְּחשֶׁת קָטֹן מֵהָכִיל וגו'. וַיֹּאמֶר אָרוּר כְּנָעַן עֶבֶד עֲבָדִים יִהְיֶה לְאֶחָיו, חָם חָטָא וּכְנַעַן נִתְקַלֵּל, אֶתְמָהָא, רַבִּי יְהוּדָה וְרַבִּי נְחֶמְיָה, רַבִּי יְהוּדָה אָמַר לְפִי שֶׁכָּתוּב (בראשית ט, א): וַיְבָרֶךְ אֱלֹהִים אֶת נֹחַ וְאֶת בָּנָיו, וְאֵין קְלָלָה הֲוָה בִּמְקוֹם בְּרָכָה, לְפִיכָךְ וַיֹּאמֶר אָרוּר כְּנָעַן. רַבִּי נְחֶמְיָה אוֹמֵר כְּנַעַן רָאָה וְהִגִּיד לְחָם, לְפִיכָךְ תּוֹלִין אֶת הַקְּלָלָה בַּמְקֻלָּל. אָמַר רַבִּי בֶּרֶכְיָה הַרְבֵּה צַעַר נִצְטַעֵר נֹחַ בַּתֵּבָה שֶׁלֹא הָיָה לוֹ בֵּן קָטָן שֶׁיְשַׁמְּשֶׁנּוּ, אָמַר לִכְשֶׁאֵצֵא אֲנִי מַעֲמִיד לִי בֵּן קָטָן שֶׁיְשַׁמְּשֵׁנִי, כֵּיוָן שֶׁעָשָׂה לוֹ חָם אוֹתוֹ מַעֲשֶׂה, אָמַר אַתָּה מָנַעְתָּ אוֹתִי מִלְּהַעֲמִיד לִי בֵּן קָטָן שֶׁיְשַׁמְּשֵׁנִי, לְפִיכָךְ יִהְיֶה אוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ עֶבֶד לְאֶחָיו שֶׁהֵן עֲבָדִים לִי. רַב הוּנָא בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי יוֹסֵף אָמַר אַתָּה מָנַעְתָּ אוֹתִי מִלַּעֲשׂוֹת דָּבָר שֶׁהוּא בַּאֲפֵלָה, לְפִיכָךְ יִהְיֶה אוֹתוֹ הָאִישׁ כָּעוּר וּמְפֻחָם. רַבִּי הוּנָא בְּשֵׁם רַבִּי יוֹסֵף אָמַר לוֹ אַתָּה מָנַעְתָּ אוֹתִי מִלְּהַעֲמִיד בֵּן רְבִיעִי, לְפִיכָךְ אֲנִי מְאָרֵר בֵּן רְבִיעִי שֶׁלְּךָ. אָמַר רַבִּי חִיָּא בַּר אַבָּא חָם וְכֶלֶב שִׁמְּשׁוּ בַּתֵּבָה, לְפִיכָךְ יָצָא חָם מְפֻחָם, וְכֶלֶב מְפֻרְסָם בְּתַשְׁמִישׁוֹ. אָמַר רַבִּי לֵוִי לְאֶחָד שֶׁקָּבַע מוֹנִיטִין שֶׁלּוֹ בְּתוֹךְ אָהֳלוֹ שֶׁל מֶלֶךְ, אָמַר הַמֶּלֶךְ גּוֹזֵר אֲנִי שֶׁיִּתְפַּחֲמוּ פָנָיו וְיִפָּסֵל מַטְבֵּעוֹ, כָּךְ חָם וְכֶלֶב שִׁמְשׁוּ בַּתֵּבָה, לְפִיכָךְ יָצָא חָם מְפֻחָם וְכֶלֶב מְפֻרְסָם בְּתַשְׁמִישׁוֹ.

(7) "And Noah awoke from his wine (Gen 9:24)": he was sobered from his wine. 'And knew what his youngest son had done to him.' Here [youngest] means, his worthless son.

And he said: Cursed be Canaan (Genesis 9:25): Ham disagreed. Rabbi Yehudah said: Since it is written, 'And God blessed Noah and his sons' (Gen. 9:1), while there cannot be a curse where a blessing has been given, consequently. He said: Cursed be Canaan. Rabbi Nehemiah explained: It was Canaan who saw [the nakedness] [in the first place] and informed them, therefore the curse is attached to him who did wrong.

Rabbi Berekiah said: Noah grieved very much in the Ark that he had no young son to wait on him, and declared, ‘When I go out I will beget a young son to do this for me.’ But when Ham acted thus to him, he exclaimed, ‘You have prevented me from begetting a young son to serve me, therefore that man [your son] will be a servant to his brethren!’... Rabbi Levi said: This may be compared to one who minted his own coinage in the very palace of the king, whereupon the king ordered: I decree that his effigy be defaced and his coinage cancelled.

A few notes of interest here:

- What happens to Ham and why?

- What does Rabbi Berekiah suggest is the punishment and to whom?

- What does Rabbi Levi's example mean?

(ו) וַיִּקַּח שֵׁם וָיֶפֶת אֶת הַשִֹּׂמְלָה (בראשית ט, כג), אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן שֵׁם הִתְחִיל בַּמִּצְוָה תְּחִלָּה וּבָא יֶפֶת וְנִשְׁמַע לוֹ, לְפִיכָךְ זָכָה שֵׁם לְטַלִּית, וְיֶפֶת לְפִיוָולָא. וַיָּשִׂימוּ עַל שְׁכֶם שְׁנֵיהֶם וַיֵּלְכוּ אֲחֹרַנִּית וַיְכַסּוּ אֵת עֶרְוַת אֲבִיהֶם, מִמַּשְׁמַע שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וַיֵּלְכוּ אֲחֹרַנִּית, אֵינִי יוֹדֵעַ שֶׁעֶרְוַת אֲבִיהֶם לֹא רָאוּ, אֶלָּא מְלַמֵּד שֶׁנָּתְנוּ יְדֵיהֶם עַל פְּנֵיהֶם וְהָיוּ מְהַלְּכִין לַאֲחוֹרֵיהֶם, וְנָהֲגוּ בוֹ כָּבוֹד כְּמוֹרָא הָאָב עַל הַבֵּן, אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְשֵׁם אַתָּה כִסִּיתָ עֶרְוָתָא דַּאֲבוּךְ, חַיֶּיךָ שֶׁאֲנִי פּוֹרֵעַ לְךָ (דניאל ג, ג): בֵּאדַיִן גֻּבְרַיָּא אִלֵּךְ כְּפִתוּ בְּסַרְבָּלֵיהוֹן. רַבִּי יוּדָן וְרַבִּי הוּנָא, רַבִּי יוּדָן אָמַר בְּגֻלֵּיהוֹן, רַבִּי הוּנָא אָמַר בְּמוֹקְסֵיהוֹן. אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְיֶפֶת, אַתָּה כִסִּיתָ עֶרְוַת אָבִיךָ, חַיֶּיךָ שֶׁאֲנִי פּוֹרֵעַ לְךָ (יחזקאל לט, יא): בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא אֶתֵּן לְגוֹג מְקוֹם שָׁם קֶבֶר בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל גֵי הָעֹבְרִים קִדְמַת הַיָּם וְחֹסֶמֶת הִיא אֶת הָעֹבְרִים וְקָבְרוּ שָׁם אֶת גּוֹג וְאֶת כָּל הֲמוֹנֹה וְקָרְאוּ גֵּיא הֲמוֹן גּוֹג. אָמַר הַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא לְחָם, אַתָּה בִּזִּיתָ עֶרְוַת אָבִיךָ, חַיֶּיךָ שֶׁאֲנִי פּוֹרֵעַ לְךָ (ישעיה כ, ד): כֵּן יִנְהַג מֶלֶךְ אַשּׁוּר אֶת שְׁבִי מִצְרַיִם וְאֶת גָּלוּת כּוּשׁ נְעָרִים וּזְקֵנִים עָרוֹם וְיָחֵף וַחֲשׂוּפֵי שֵׁת עֶרְוַת מִצְרָיִם.

(6) "And Shem and Yafet took a garment (Gen. 9:23)". R. Yochanan said: Shem began the mitzvah, then Yafet came and listened to him. Therefore Shem was granted a tallit and Yafet a phallium [circumcision]. 'And laid it upon both their shoulders and went backwards and covered their father's nakedness' but since it is written 'went backwards' don't we [already] know that they did not see their father’s nakedness? This comes to teach that they covered their faces with their hands and walked backwards, giving him the respect due from a son to a father. Said the Holy One of Blessing to Shem: ‘You covered your father’s nakedness! By your life [I swear that] I will reward you 'When these men are bound in their [prayer] cloaks (or robes of state) (be-sarbelehon),’ etc. (Dan. 3:21).

The Holy One of Blessing said to Yafet: ‘You covered your father’s nakedness! By your life [I swear that] I will reward you 'for it shall come to pass in that day, that I will give to Gog a place fit for burial in Israel’ (Ezek. 39:11) The Holy One of Blessing said to Ham: ‘You brought your father’s nakedness to disgrace: By your life [I swear that] I will punish you: 'So shall the king of Assyria lead away the captives of Egypt, and the exiles of Ethiopia, young and old, naked and barefoot, and with buttocks uncovered to the shame of Egypt’ (Isa. 22:4).

Dr. Brené Brown, on Shame

I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection. (from her blog)

תני תנא קמיה דרב נחמן בר יצחק כל המלבין פני חבירו ברבים כאילו שופך דמים א"ל שפיר קא אמרת דחזינא ליה דאזיל סומקא ואתי חוורא אמר ליה אביי לרב דימי במערבא במאי זהירי א"ל באחוורי אפי דאמר רבי חנינא הכל יורדין לגיהנם חוץ משלשה

The Gemara relates that the tanna taught a baraita before Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak: Anyone who humiliates another in public, it is as though he were spilling blood. Rav Naḥman bar Yitzḥak said to him: You have spoken well, as we see that after the humiliated person blushes, the red leaves his face and pallor comes in its place, which is tantamount to spilling his blood.

(ח) הַמּוֹכִיחַ אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ תְּחִלָּה לֹא יְדַבֵּר לוֹ קָשׁוֹת עַד שֶׁיַּכְלִימֶנּוּ שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (ויקרא יט יז) "וְלֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא". כָּךְ אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים יָכוֹל אַתָּה מוֹכִיחוֹ וּפָנָיו מִשְׁתַּנּוֹת תַּלְמוּד לוֹמַר וְלֹא תִשָּׂא עָלָיו חֵטְא. מִכָּאן שֶׁאָסוּר לָאָדָם לְהַכְלִים אֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל וְכָל שֶׁכֵּן בָּרַבִּים. אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁהַמַּכְלִים אֶת חֲבֵרוֹ אֵינוֹ לוֹקֶה עָלָיו עָוֹן גָּדוֹל הוּא. כָּךְ אָמְרוּ חֲכָמִים (גמרא סנהדרין קז א) "הַמַּלְבִּין פְּנֵי חֲבֵרוֹ בָּרַבִּים אֵין לוֹ חֵלֶק לָעוֹלָם הַבָּא". לְפִיכָךְ צָרִיךְ אָדָם לְהִזָּהֵר שֶׁלֹּא לְבַיֵּשׁ חֲבֵרוֹ בָּרַבִּים בֵּין קָטָן בֵּין גָּדוֹל. וְלֹא יִקְרָא לוֹ בְּשֵׁם שֶׁהוּא בּוֹשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ. וְלֹא יְסַפֵּר לְפָנָיו דָּבָר שֶׁהוּא בּוֹשׁ מִמֶּנּוּ. בַּמֶּה דְּבָרִים אֲמוּרִים בִּדְבָרִים שֶׁבֵּין אָדָם לַחֲבֵרוֹ. אֲבָל בְּדִבְרֵי שָׁמַיִם אִם לֹא חָזַר בּוֹ בַּסֵּתֶר מַכְלִימִין אוֹתוֹ בָּרַבִּים וּמְפַרְסְמִים חֶטְאוֹ וּמְחָרְפִים אוֹתוֹ בְּפָנָיו וּמְבַזִּין וּמְקַלְּלִין אוֹתוֹ עַד שֶׁיַּחֲזֹר לַמּוּטָב כְּמוֹ שֶׁעָשׂוּ כָּל הַנְּבִיאִים בְּיִשְׂרָאֵל:

(8) One who rebukes a friend, at the beginning, no hard words should be used against them to shame them, for it is said: "And thou shalt bear no sin upon themselves" (Lev. 19.17). Thus did the wise men say: "Understand it not by rebuking them you might cause their countenance to change expression; for, it is said: 'And thou shalt bear no sin upon themselves'" (Ibid.; Arakin, 16b); here we learn that it is forbidden to put an Israelite to shame, needless to say publicly. It is a grievous sin.

Even so did the wise men say: "One who publicly puts their fellow's countenance to shame has no share in the world to come" (Pirke Avot, 3.15). A person is, therefore obliged to guard themselves against putting their fellow to shame publicly, regardless of whether they are young or old; not to call someone by a name of which they feels ashamed, nor tell aught in their presence of which they is ashamed. However, all these refer to matters touching the relationship between humans; but if it concern heavenly matters, if the sinner does not repent after being rebuked privately, they should be shamed publicly, and their sin should be proclaimed, and harsh words should be used in their presence, and they should be shamed and cursed till they repent and take up the good path, even as all of the prophets in Israel did with the wicked.8Baba Mezi’a 59a; Yoma, 86b

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