(טו) שַׁמַּאי אוֹמֵר, עֲשֵׂה תוֹרָתְךָ קֶבַע. אֱמֹר מְעַט וַעֲשֵׂה הַרְבֵּה, וֶהֱוֵי מְקַבֵּל אֶת כָּל הָאָדָם בְּסֵבֶר פָּנִים יָפוֹת:
Shammai used to say: Make your [study of the] Torah a fixed practice; speak little, but do much; and receive every person with a pleasant countenance.
(ב) סבר פנים יפות. הוא שישא ויתן עם הבריות בנחת ובדברים ערבים ורצוים:
"a pleasant countenance": That is when one interacts with the creatures calmly and with pleasant and welcome words.
THE GOLDEN MEAN AND ARISTOTLE
Golden mean or "middle way" is an ancient concept described in various traditions. The concept was often discussed within ethical contexts and considered as a virtue.
In Western philosophy, Aristotle in particular elaborated the concept in his Nicomachean Ethics. His psychology of the soul and its virtues is based on the golden mean. The "golden mean" is the desirable middle between two extremes, one of excess and the other of deficiency.
Aristotle’s doctrine of the mean consists of three pillars that work together to form a complete account:
First, there is a sort of equilibrium that the good person is in. This is related to a medical idea that a healthy person is in a balanced state. For example, one’s body temperature is neither too high nor too low. Related to ethics, one’s character does not go to extremes. For example, one does not overreact to situations, but rather keeps his composure. Equilibrium is the right feelings at the right time about the right things, toward the right people, for the right end, and in the right way.
The second pillar states that the mean we should strive for is relative to us. The intermediate of an object is unchanging; if twelve is excess and four is deficiency, then roughly eight is the intermediate in that object. Aristotle proposes something different for finding an intermediate relative to oneself. Aristotle’s ethics are not a one-size-fits-all system; what he is looking for is the mean that is good for a particular individual. For example, watering a small plant with a gallon of water is excessive but watering a tree with a gallon of water is deficient. This is because different plants have different needs for water intake and if the requirements for each plant are not met, the plant will die from root rot (excess) or dehydration (deficiency).
The third pillar is that each virtue falls between two vices. Virtue is like the mean because it is the intermediate between two vices. On this model a triad is formed with one vice on either end (excess or deficiency) and the virtue as the intermediate. If one’s character is too near either vice, then the person will incur blame but if one’s character is near the intermediate, the person deserves praise. Proper participation in each of these three pillars is necessary for a person to lead a virtuous and therefore happy life.
According to the principle of the Golden Mean in ancient Greek philosophy, one may be able to clarify a code of conduct. A general must seek courage, the mean between cowardice and foolhardiness, in order to gain honor. A person who seeks pleasure through eating must find the mean between being a glutton and starving. A person who seeks knowledge must find the mean between ignorance and seeking knowledge to excess; excess knowledge is not wisdom, but the mind turned to cunning.
We must not understand Aristotle to mean that virtue lies exactly at the center of two vices. Aristotle only means that virtue is in between the two vices. Different degrees are needed for different situations. Knowing exactly what is appropriate in a given situation is difficult and that is why we need a long moral training. For example, being very angry at the fact that your wife is murdered is appropriate even though the state is closer to extreme anger (a vice) than it is to indifference (a vice). In that case, it is right for the virtuous man to be angry. However, if some water has been spilt in the garden by accident then the virtuous response is much closer to indifference.
-New World Encyclopedia
RAMBAM (MOSES MAIMONIDES)
(א) דֵעוֹת הַרְבֵּה יֵשׁ לְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד מִבְּנֵי אָדָם וְזוֹ מְשֻׁנָּה מִזּוֹ וּרְחוֹקָה מִמֶּנָּהּ בְּיוֹתֵר. יֵשׁ אָדָם שֶׁהוּא בַּעַל חֵמָה כּוֹעֵס תָּמִיד. וְיֵשׁ אָדָם שֶׁדַּעְתּוֹ מְיֻשֶּׁבֶת עָלָיו וְאֵינוֹ כּוֹעֵס כְּלָל וְאִם יִכְעַס יִכְעַס כַּעַס מְעַט בְּכַמָּה שָׁנִים. וְיֵשׁ אָדָם שֶׁהוּא גְּבַהּ לֵב בְּיוֹתֵר. וְיֵשׁ שֶׁהוּא שְׁפַל רוּחַ בְּיוֹתֵר. וְיֵשׁ שֶׁהוּא בַּעַל תַּאֲוָה לֹא תִּשְׂבַּע נַפְשׁוֹ מֵהָלֹךְ בְּתַאֲוָה. וְיֵשׁ שֶׁהוּא בַּעַל לֵב טָהוֹר מְאֹד וְלֹא יִתְאַוֶּה אֲפִלּוּ לִדְבָרִים מְעַטִּים שֶׁהַגּוּף צָרִיךְ לָהֶן. וְיֵשׁ בַּעַל נֶפֶשׁ רְחָבָה שֶׁלֹּא תִּשְׂבַּע נַפְשׁוֹ מִכָּל מָמוֹן הָעוֹלָם, כָּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר (קהלת ה ט) "אוֹהֵב כֶּסֶף לֹא יִשְׂבַּע כֶּסֶף". וְיֵשׁ מְקַצֵּר נַפְשׁוֹ שֶׁדַּיּוֹ אֲפִלּוּ דָּבָר מְעַט שֶׁלֹּא יַסְפִּיק לוֹ וְלֹא יִרְדֹּף לְהַשִּׂיג כָּל צָרְכּוֹ. וְיֵשׁ שֶׁהוּא מְסַגֵּף עַצְמוֹ בְּרָעָב וְקוֹבֵץ עַל יָדוֹ וְאֵינוֹ אוֹכֵל פְּרוּטָה מִשֶּׁלּוֹ אֶלָּא בְּצַעַר גָּדוֹל. וְיֵשׁ שֶׁהוּא מְאַבֵּד כָּל מָמוֹנוֹ בְּיָדוֹ לְדַעְתּוֹ. וְעַל דְּרָכִים אֵלּוּ שְׁאָר כָּל הַדֵּעוֹת כְּגוֹן מְהוֹלֵל וְאוֹנֵן וְכִילַי וְשׁוֹעַ וְאַכְזָרִי וְרַחֲמָן וְרַךְ לֵבָב וְאַמִּיץ לֵב וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָּהֶן:
Every human being has many dispositions, and everyone is both different and very distant from anyone else: One person may have a violent temper, always angry; but another's mind is at ease and he is never angry, or if he does feel anger it is a soft anger once in several years. A person may be very haughty, but another has a very humble disposition. A person may have very strong desires, never satisfied; but another may have a very pure heart, not even desiring those few things that the body requires. A person may be very greedy, not satisfied by all the wealth in the world, as it says, "A lover of silver never has his fill of silver" (Ecclesiastes 5:9). But another may have modest desires, and is satisfied with the smallest thing even if it is not truly enough for him, and he will not exert himself to acquire what he needs.
(ג) שְׁתֵּי קְצָווֹת הָרְחוֹקוֹת זוֹ מִזּוֹ שֶׁבְּכָל דֵּעָה וְדֵעָה אֵינָן דֶּרֶךְ טוֹבָה וְאֵין רָאוּי לוֹ לָאָדָם לָלֶכֶת בָּהֶן וְלֹא לְלַמְּדָן לְעַצְמוֹ. וְאִם מָצָא טִבְעוֹ נוֹטֶה לְאַחַת מֵהֶן אוֹ מוּכָן לְאַחַת מֵהֶן אוֹ שֶׁכְּבָר לָמֵד אַחַת מֵהֶן וְנָהַג בָּהּ יַחֲזִיר עַצְמוֹ לַמּוּטָב וְיֵלֵךְ בְּדֶרֶךְ הַטּוֹבִים וְהִיא הַדֶּרֶךְ הַיְשָׁרָה:
Each middah has two extremities. It is not a good path nor appropriate to go according to these extremes. … If you find that your nature is leaning towards one of them, or that your are 'prepared' for one of them, or you have learned and become accustomed to one of them - he should return himself to the 'good path' and go in the good way which is the straight path.
MUSSAR
The nefesh is the seat of all our emotions and appetites, the realm of personality and identity. If our nefesh is clear and unblemished, the light of the neshama will shine through without obstruction; if it is foggy, the light will be obstructed. Just as clouds determine how much sunshine makes it to earth, the nefesh acts as the “atmosphere” of our lives. The features of the soul that connect us to this world – personality, character, appetites, aversions, strengths, weaknesses – determine whether the holiness that is there at our core shines out or not, or to what degree. The goal of Mussar is to help us build up, or reduce, or balance the features of our life that cause the light within to brighten or dim, and so it focuses our attention on the nefesh.
-Mussar Institute
MIDDAH OF ERECH APAYIM - SLOWNESS TO ANGER
Erech Apayim translates as "Slowness to anger." The word erech comes from the Hebrew root aleph-reish-chaf, which means "to lengthen" or "to stretch." The word apayim comes from the Hebrew word aph, aleph-fey, which means "anger."
Text: "Be not quick to anger, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools!" (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
Just as it is necessary to control one's words, it is also important to control one's emotions. A person who loses his or her temper quickly and becomes angry tends to hold onto that anger and is considered a fool! Notice that we are not told that it is wrong to feel angry or to express that anger - only that we must have control over our anger. The Talmud adds to this understanding by suggesting that "if a clever man is angry, his wisdom quits him." (Talmud, Nedarim 22b)
"Calm, persevering patience is generally a virtue, but especially so for Torah study, for anger causes errors in judgment and leads one to forget one's learning." (The Pirkei Avos Treasury, p.416)
This middah is first mentioned in the Torah as one of the attributes of God: "Adonai, Adonai! A God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, extending kindness to the thousandth generation, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin." (Exodus 34:6)
Rabbi Susan Freeman suggests that if we are created in the image of God, and God is slow to anger, then we, too, should strive to be slow to anger. (Teaching Jewish Virtues, Freeman p.86)
In Pirkei Avot, we learn that there are four kinds of temper: there is the person easy to provoke and easy to appease—the loss is cancelled by the gain; hard to provoke and hard to appease—the gain is cancelled by the loss; easy to provoke and hard to appease—that person is wicked; hard to provoke and easy to appease—that person is saintly. (Avot 5,11) Once again, there is an assumption in this passage that everyone loses his or her temper and becomes angry on occasion. It is the degree to which one is able to control one's temper that makes all the difference.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
1. In the Book of Proverbs, we find the following quotation about anger: "Better to
be slow to anger than mighty, to have self-control than to conquer a city. (Proverbs 16:32) What does this teach us about the biblical view of anger in relation to power, and to possessions? Do you think that most people would agree or disagree with this statement? Why? Or why not?
2. The great Jewish philosopher, Maimonides, wrote that it is wrong for a person never to feel annoyance, for such a person is akin to a corpse. (Mishneh Torah, Laws of Character Development, 1:4) Compare Maimonides' view of anger with that of Ecclesiastes. Do you think that Maimonides would agree or disagree with the text from Ecclesiastes? Why? Do you think that Maimonides would agree that erech apayim is one of the middot necessary to acquire Torah? Why or why not?
3. Reread the quotation from Pirket Avot about the four kinds of temper. Which kind of temper do you think you have? Think about a situation that might provoke anger. An example might be that someone has taken one of your belongings without permission.
4. The Book of Numbers describes an episode in which Moses becomes enraged at the Israelites' constant whining about their lack of water. God directs Moses to speak to a large rock, which will then yield water. But Moses instead hits the rock, shouting, "Listen, you rebels, shall we get water for you out of this rock?" (Numbers 20:10) Because of his angry outburst, Moses was denied entry into the Promised Land. Can you think of something that you have said in anger that you now regret?